It’s not a secret that we are all different and behave according to our temperament when we find ourselves in a stressful situation. You don’t think a date is a stressful event, do you? Then the chances are high you have never been on a date with someone you like very much. Why do people talk too much? Most people start behaving really weird sometimes when they are in a company of a person they have a crush on. Even though they try to behave as usual and not show their true attitude and feelings, the hormonal cocktail in their blood has a different point of view. Thus, a shy person who usually behaves calmly and even composedly can start talking a way too much, and it’s not always a good thing since they may begin to annoy their interlocutor whose feelings for the person are less bright and strong.
An increased level of annoyance may lead to an unexpected outburst at the most inappropriate moment, so the date will be completely spoiled, and the talkative person will be offended. And even if you like that person and would like to continue your communication, you will hardly be able to feel comfortable with each other because the shade of the previously failed date will still be there. And everything can be even worse if this talkative person is you. So, how to tell someone they talk too much and not offend them? How to stop talking too much and calm down to not spoil the date? Let’s find out from the experts of Sweetydate.
If we ask out on a date someone special whom we want to impress and show ourselves from the best sides, we inevitably start being nervous, and that can play a dirty trick with us. It is when Murphy’s law starts working. So, how can we ruin our first dates?
1. Be late or come too early
It’s the easiest way to kill all the romantic feelings in the bud. When you make a potential partner wait for you for an hour, you demonstrate your “true attitude.” Nobody cares that you have got in a traffic jam or forgotten to turn on an iron. The same goes for coming too early - you just increase the level of your nervousness.
2. Admit that you have studied their social networks
Yep, nowadays, everyone does it if they have a chance, but you shouldn't inform a person about your investigation. If you mention that a girl had a great haircut 2 years ago, and you like it much more than the current one, you will look creepy and scary the girl away. Don't do that on a date with a woman from sweety date com.
3. Joke about their tastes
We may have different tastes and preferences, and it’s okay. If you have the opposite opinion about something, it’s not necessary to bring it to the table and start joking about their preferences, saying how awful their favorite TV series is and what a poor taste they have.
The highest form of disrespect and neglect is to start phubbing being on the first date. Doing that, you as if tell your date, “You are so boring that I would better scroll the news feed once again and chat with a neighbor about their dog even though I love cats.”
5. Talking too much
A date is a meeting of two people who are interested in each other and want to get to know each other better. When it’s a performance of one actor, it’s a big failure. If you are talking too much, especially on some weird topics, like your previous romantic relationships, and don’t let a person say something in return, then you will hardly meet again. In general, talking about exes too much is the most awful thing you can do on a date.
It’s not easy to find this middle ground between talking too much and not enough since many girls complain that men ask them out on dates and stay quiet, making a girl entertain them both. And if a girl is shy by nature, such a date can turn into an hour moment of silence. However, the opposite situation is pretty common as well, when a man can stop just for a second to catch a breath and continue his fascinating story, getting pleasure from the fact how witty he is. But he is not. He creates an impression as if you are listening to a radio and cannot switch the channel or turn it off. Many girls are sapiosexual which means they are attracted not that much by physical data of the man but his mental abilities (ask some girl on sweetydate.com about this fact). But when a man talks about himself, his accomplishments, skills, and stuff, in other words, tries too hard to impress a girl, he does himself a huge disservice. And if a girl talking too much is considered an ordinary phenomenon, then men who talk too much look weird.
1. A girl is happy when a waiter comes over
You notice that a girl feels relief when a waiter comes over to ask whether you want to order something else or to take away your dirty plates or pour more wine. A girl is grateful and happy to get at least a small break from your constant chatting. She is just waiting when the date will be over.
2. A girl does not ask you questions
If you have caught yourself thinking that a girl did not ask you any questions while you were telling another “hilarious” story, then chances are high that it happened because there was no need. You did everything yourself and answered all the questions she could potentially ask you.
3. A girl taps her foot all the time
If you have noticed that a girl is tapping her foot - it is a red flag. When people do that, it means they don’t feel comfortable but rather anxious and would like to escape, but they feel trapped one way or another. So, your “never-ending chatting” is a situation she would like to leave, but her good upbringing does not allow her to do that right away.
4. You didn’t find out anything about her
It’s already the middle of your date, but you still know nothing about your interlocutor because you don’t have any. You don’t have a conversation, it’s a pure monologue about how great you are. So even though you have already finished your dishes, you haven’t found out anything new about the girl. And it looks like she doesn’t want to share anything because she has already decided it’s your first and last date. Thus, talking about yourself too much, you have forgotten to show interest in the girl’s personality.
5. Your date looks exhausted
When we spend a great time together with someone, we look happy, hyped up, and feel a boost of energy. However, if a girl looks as if she has worked a double shift, then it may mean you have overdone with talking. You have just maxed up her listening abilities and turned a pleasant pastime into torture.
Communication is a process in which both partners actively participate, listen to each other, and make comments. It also refers to chatting via any dating site like https://sweetydate.com/. If you have found yourself trapped when you have to listen to the person all the time, staying quiet at the moment, and you don’t have a chance to escape, it’s necessary to find a way out and try to save your evening. Talk is an exchange of thoughts and emotions when you try on the role of a listener and orator in turn, and if it doesn’t happen, then try to do the following if you want to change the situation. So, how to deal with people who talk too much?
Unfortunately, sometimes it’s impossible to make a talkative person listen to you.
Many of us have been taught from childhood that it’s a wonderful quality to be a good listener, and your interlocutor will always respect and appreciate you for that. And that’s true, but unfortunately, the situation goes out of control when a person just cannot stop talking while you have to stay quiet and try to not yawn at some point. If you have come on a date, you expect to have a great pastime, joke, and feel happy. It’s your right. Otherwise, why do we need these dates at all? Definitely not to listen to some narcissistic person who has been already telling for an hour how great and successful they are in different spheres of life or sharing another “hilarious” story from their childhood. There might be different reasons why the person behaves in a certain way, starting with being nervous and being self-centered. However, what to do if you are the person who cannot keep silent for a while? So, the question, "How to stop talking too much on a date?” is still relevant.
1. Try to calm down faster
If you have a crush on your date, and your hands start shaking when you think about your meeting, then it’s not surprising that you will be nervous on a date. So, you may start talking way much than usual to cope with the overly excited state. However, it’s okay when you do that only for a couple of minutes at the very beginning of your meeting. You don’t know how to control talking too much? If you understand that it doesn’t help, you should just shut up because you can spoil everything. Let your date talk. There is no need to be overly chatty. To keep a conversation going, you should better ask more questions and listen to the girl. She will be pleased that you want to get to know her better.
2. Don’t concern about awkward pauses too much
You may be afraid of pauses in your conversation, believing that they are a red flag. However, the thing is that you make a big deal out of it. And they will bring less harm and embarrassment than a non-stop talk on your part, when you literally overwhelm your interlocutor with stories, even no having time to breathe enough. Are you into romcoms? Have you noticed how it happens in them and how partners enjoy these moments of complete silence and do not come up with unnecessary things? Yes, it is amazing when you meet a person with whom you can chat for hours, but if it doesn’t happen, don’t try to fill in every single pause. It’s the best tip on how to not talk too much on a date.
3. You are afraid that your date is bored
If you like a girl and want to entertain her in all possible ways, it doesn’t mean that you should tell numerous “funny” stories. It’s much more important how both of you feel and what you are talking about than for how long you do it. You will rather make your potential partner feel bored and stop listening to your endless stories. A person cannot stay focused on your talks all the time if they do not participate in the discussion. So, how to avoid talking too much? You should make fascinating short statements and ask questions to involve your date into the conversation. Thus, you will have an interesting dialogue and spend time with pleasure.
Well, yes, there is talking too much disorder that is characterized by endless chatting. It is about logorrhea, a specific disorder that manifests itself in uncontrolled incoherent speech production. In this case, meaningless, unregulated by will talkativeness is combined with an accelerated pace of speech. The symptom is characteristic of motor aphasia, acoustic-gnostic aphasia, schizophrenia, manic disorder, dementia, etc. Diagnosis of logorrhea is carried out by speech therapists, psychiatrists as part of the mental disorder. Depending on the cause of the talkativeness, a speech therapy correction or drug treatment can be carried out. There is no special treatment for logorrhea. Speech and other pathological symptoms decrease or disappear with the treatment of the causative disease. Nonetheless, not all people who talk too much have such a disorder.
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