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It may seem that if you want to date and marry a woman from abroad, in particular from Ukraine, you have to deploy other approaches and strategies than for your local ladies. However, that’s not true. Ukrainian culture is a part of a wider European culture, so expectations of local women are not that far from women you know. They love the same things, they hate the same things, and so you should be the best version of yourself, as they say, to find a key to conquer your Ukrainian lady's heart.
Of course, there is a persisting myth of famously beautiful women who want to marry abroad and get a share of their spouses’ money. Only one portion of the myth reflects the reality: Ukrainian women are amazingly beautiful with this very special soft feminine beauty. However, they are educated and intelligent enough to earn a living, so they will rather expect you to be their partner, an equal, rather than a full-time sponsor. That’s a piece of good news, so to say.
However, how to approach and charm such a wonderful lady? How to make her see that you are a worthy marital candidate and that she can entrust her heart to you? In other words, how to make Ukrainian woman fall in love with you? Well, we did not start with an explanation about the cultural similarity for no reason at all. Quite the opposite: if you understand that your life views and expectations are rather common, you can easily understand how to act and what to say – and what not to say. Yes, it is these small steps and careless (or carefully selected) words that can make or break your relationship and spark that magic feeling in a woman’s heart.
It may sound obvious or irrelevant, but actually, the lack of this respect is the first red flag women look for. For a woman from Ukraine, it’s even a bigger clue to watch for. She’ll be leaving her country to come and stay with you (theoretically, at least), so she needs to know that she can trust you and be safe with you. And the presence (or lack) of this inherent basic respect is a key to how you would treat her when the first romantics fade away.
Well, we believe that you are a really good guy, and when we say respect we don’t mean like, placing anyone on the throne immediately. Rather, it is an understanding that we are all humans, we don’t like to be talked about in a bad way or treated badly, and when you say something bad about other women or express rather unholy opinions about them, you automatically say the same thing about this very woman.
Yes, that’s how the logic of a regular person works, that’s how a woman views such stuff, and that’s why we place this warning under no.1 here (and rant about it for so long). Never do this if you want to win a heart of Ukrainian women. If you don’t know how to explain properly that you respect all women (American, foreign, whatever), just steer clear from this issue altogether. This reservation and civility are the foundation on which tender feelings thrive. Some men somehow manage to ruin everything even during the first date with their unwise chatter, but we know you are not like that.
It naturally flows from the previous one, and we hope it’s obvious. If you respect all women, you will respect her, and that’s the best aphrodisiac in Ukrainian dating ever. If she feels safe and relaxed near you, developing tender feelings is only a matter of time. Besides, she does not owe you anything yet, so acting as if she does destroys any trust or interest that she might have. So tread lightly and respectfully in your love quest.
Well, again one more beaten piece of advice, but they all work! So we never cease to wonder why people don’t follow them. You want her to be interested in you? Show interest in her! Do you want her to be smiling and easygoing? Be warm, smiling, and easy-going. Just that. Be the kind of person you want to have next to you, and the woman will fall for it. It sounds too general, but only you know what you want to get in love with. So practice it when you try to win a Ukrainian woman heart. Patience? Kindness? Adoration? Being around in the time of need? Just do it! Treat her like you’d want to be treated!
Being close to a person and expecting openness means that you should be open, in the first place. If you say during the first date that you loved a dress or a movie you’ve decided to watch together, it is really shocking to hear from you later that you actually did not. Lying during the first hazy phase of romance never delivered good outcomes. The follow-up confessions usually kill any desire to continue dating.
So avoid telling outward lies, or find ways to tell carefully what you really think (like, I think you are beautiful any moment of the day, I just don’t get that dress, something like this). Don’t lie in things big or small, and avoid getting into details of your past romances. We all have the past, but just don’t lie about it. Ukrainian marriage won’t survive it (like any other).
The point is, if you lied about this or that issue, the next reasonable question is whether you lying about your feelings or intentions right now. If you have something to tell, tell it gently. Openness and vulnerability (there is nothing offensive in this word) help women see a real, deep-feeling person in you, and it is easier to fall in love with a real person you see and appreciate.
Ukrainian women take relationships and marriage seriously, as one of the biggest steps in their lives, so if you want to secure a place in her heart, be serious about what you say and what you do. You may lack in the humor or talking department, but if you make up for it in responsibility, you’ve got her hooked. If you promised – do it. Remember her words and act on what she said (and if it is possible). Slavic women are not very demanding or picky, so it’s easy to follow up on your chats, usually.
That’s what Ukrainian guys usually lack – the ability to sit down and talk the problems or just important points through and find a decision good for both of you. They consider it ‘unmanly,’ so don’t make this mistake. Listen to her, talk up the point and take her opinions seriously. After you’ve done it two or three times in a row, you can buy a ring – she’s all yours, and we are not kidding. Ukrainian wives never stop admiring this trait in their hubbies.
That’s obvious – why would you want a woman to love you if you don’t love her? Say it, speak about your tender feelings, about how much you care, and don’t do it just once. Repeat it on some occasions or without occasions, because that is what a woman wants to hear regularly – that her man loves her and is not afraid to say it again and again.
Since we are talking about a very particular kind of dating, that is, dating Ukrainian brides with the goal of marriage, we should put the marital plans in focus. Both you and the woman you like do it because you want marriage, not just because you have some spare time on your hands. So be clear about it from the start. The seriousness of intentions makes you a desirable guy, a reliable and serious one. And, as said, it is one of the key traits that really make women fall in love with men.
Yes, the question of money and gold-diggers looking for prey often spoils the sweet waters of romancing, but there are a couple of caveats. First, if you communicate with her long enough, you can definitely spot disturbing signals, and second, neither you nor she actually wants to deal with financial troubles. So, both of you look for some sort of predictability in money.
Most probably, a Ukrainian lady has a job in her country and some sort of earned income. While she settles down in a new place with you and looks for a job, she needs to know you will be able to provide for you both. If you plan that she stays at home while you work, you have to talk it through as well. So, yes, you will have to be clear about where you stand financially and how you see the future. And the more confident you are, the better the chances to win Ukrainian woman's heart. It would be unreasonable to start a family if you don’t have a job or your own business, no matter how small, to begin with.
Love language has many tones and tunes, gifts included. We are not talking about grand gestures fit for movies, but small things like flowers, sweets, or something that she likes are a must. If you are still living in different countries, you can send her something by mail or just order flowers to be delivered to her locally. The Internet and popular Ukrainian dating sites made online romancing really easy these days. These small signs of attention do mean a lot. And you may be sure that when you meet, your sweetheart from Ukraine will give you something nice in return.
We put it at the back of the list because looks are not everything. But they do matter. Have neat clothes when you chat online, keep your hair clean, get a shave, you know it. If you meet in person, put even more effort into it. Good smell, good clothes, decent footwear, a clean and put-together guy. No need to buy the most expensive suit you can afford, just make sure your outfit is clean, pressed, and fit for a shopping mall stroll or a restaurant. Make a good impression, and a lady will appreciate it. In all senses.
As you see, it all revolves around three points – listen more than talk; when you talk, talk about her or ‘us’, not ‘me’, and act responsibly, not like a crazy teen. That’s the gist of what you should remember and practice. A hundred worth of tips on looking cool and confident is easily beaten by you being really responsible and confident about it. That’s the behavior you cannot fake, and that’s what women love in men, so be a man and do it when you want badly to win a Ukrainian girl.
Kenneth O'Riley – a relationship coach and psychologist based in Montreal, Canada. Besides a huge experience of working with couples and singles, Kenneth can share knowledge about Slavic women and the peculiarities of dating ladies from Ukraine and Russia. Our author has Ukrainian origin and lived in Kyiv, Ukraine, for 10 years. Such experience allows us to call him a real expert in Slavic girls and share working tips with you.
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